A Racist Under Every Snack

We live in interesting times. What was unthinkable even five years ago is now commonplace. I have A Racist Under Every Snackto do a double-take at least once each day when reading the news to be sure I’ve read something correctly, that it really did say what I thought it did. Such was the case yesterday when I read this article in National Review:

“Cops Called on My Third-Grade Son over Racism Concerns for Talking About Brownies”

Yes, that’s really what you just read. You did it too, right? That double-take thing.

Anyway, it seems the latest front in the war against racism is elementary school classrooms. Apparently, racism is so pervasive, so insidious that it can be found even in a discussion among third-graders about snack food:

According to the student’s mother, her nine-year-old son was participating in a conversation about the bakery treat during his end-of-the-year class party at William P. Tatem Elementary School on June 16 when another student remarked that his comment was racist. Rather than explain to the accusing student that the name of the baked good is a generally accepted term and not racially charged whatsoever, the school actually called the police.

While you can’t be a terrorist even if you want to be and announce ahead of time you are one, you can be a racist simply by being accused of such. Racism is always in the eye of the accuser.

All you race warriors out there here’s where your obsession has gotten us – not to a society where racism has ceased (which I don’t think you want anyway – it’s a job security thing) but a society where “racism” is used as the justification for sending the police to an elementary school to harass and frighten a third-grader.
 
If you are legitimately concerned about racism (not just using it as a wedge issue to garner more power), you better start putting as much effort into calling out people and situations like this as you do calling out racism because any legitimate concerns you have are going to be subsumed by the racism-is-everywhere folks who have thus far operated with impunity while sharing space under your umbrella.

 

Otherwise, when the wolf of racism really does show up, the people of the village are going to ignore your cries for help.

Betty and Gloria Survive A Not Terror Attack

Betty and Gloria Survive A Not Terror AttackBetty & Gloria were on the subway headed home from their weekly fight the patriarchy rally. As the train pulled into the next stop a man dressed in black boarded. As soon as the doors closed he pulled out a gun and began waving it around.

“Alluha Akbaaaaaarr.” He shouted

“Oh no, Betty,” Gloria screamed “it’s one of those fundamentalist Christians who hates gay people!”

“I know and he’s, he’s, he’s got one of those things!”

“What things?” said Gloria

“Those gun things. It could jump out of his hand at any moment and kill us all!”

“Listen infidels,” the man said “I’m a loyal soldier of ISIS here to inflict Allah’s justice on the decadent west.”

“What did he say?” asked Betty, who was cowering under the seat by now.

“That he’s from the NRA and he’s here to make sure ten year olds can buy fully automatic weapons at gun shows,” whispered Gloria.

“Oh no, we’re doomed. Those people are as crazy as it gets!”

“Shut up infidel spawns of Satan!” the man barked.

By the time the train pulled into the next station the platform was filled with police and SWAT. The man began threatening to shoot the passengers.

As he leveled his gun at Betty & Gloria, a shot rang out. The man dropped to the floor. The police rushed the car and in moments it was over thanks to a police sharpshooter.

Afterwards Betty & Gloria were interviewed by the police.

“Ma’am, what can you tell us about what happened?”

“Don’t you ma’am me you cisgender fascist,” said Betty.

“Oh, sorry, well, what did you ladi…um…I mean can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s all kind of a blur,” said Gloria. “The only thing I remember for sure is that he was waving a Confederate flag.”

Betty and Gloria walked along in silence as they headed home wondering how this could have happened. Finally Betty said:

“You know Gloria, it occurs to me that perhaps we’re wrong about this man.”

“How do you mean?”

“I bet he was just a self-loathing transgender man who had been oppressed his whole life by being forced to use the women’s restroom and he finally just had enough.”

“You could be right,” said Gloria. “And if that’s true, you can’t really blame him. I bet he’s even had people bully him by refusing to use his preferred pronoun.”

“Yes,” said Betty. “It’s sad. What a mixed up world we live in.”

“Indeed.” said Gloria.

 

 

 

 

Apple Pie Theology

Apple Pie TheologyOne of the questions that inevitably comes up when you study church history, especially the history of the Reformation, is whether the Roman Catholic Church should be considered Christian. On the one hand, they affirm the Nicene Creed which places them within the pale of historic Christianity along with Protestants and the Eastern Orthodox. On the other hand, they reject the notion of salvation by grace through faith alone. This puts them in the position of preaching a gospel other than the one affirmed by the apostles which, in turn, puts them under condemnation according to the Apostle Paul (Galatians 1:8-9).

So what are we to think about the Roman Catholic Church? Are they Christian because they are within the pale of Nicene orthodoxy or are they not Christian because they preach a false gospel? Additionally, how do we understand the difference between Nicene Roman Catholicism and something like Mormonism?

The answer lies in understanding the purpose of the creeds. The Nicene Creed in particular was not intended to be an exhaustive theological statement. It was formulated to address particular issues the church was facing at the time it was written – primarily the challenge to the divinity of Christ being put forth by the Arians. The Creed says nothing about the nature of the atonement, justification, etc. But, it does put up some boundaries beyond which a belief system cannot be Christian. So, from a historical and sociological perspective, religions within Nicene boundaries are considered Christian. But, this does not mean everyone who affirms Nicaea can be considered Christian from a theological perspective, as it is merely a starting point.

One way I’ve sorted this out is thinking of an apple pie. There are certain ingredients that must be present for a pie to be considered an apple pie. For argument’s sake, let’s say those ingredients are apples, sugar and nutmeg. Pies that contain apples, sugar and nutmeg can be classified as Apple Pies:

Nicene Apple Pie

Of course, we can add other things to the pie like rhubarb, for example, and it would still be an apple pie. But, are there things we can add that are so contrary to the pie’s purpose that, while technically still an apple pie, it becomes worthless as such? I think so:

A pie containing apples, sugar, nutmeg, sardines and garlic may be in the apple pie category technically but will not function as an apple pie in any meaningful sense.

Roman Catholicism is like an apple pie with sardines and garlic added – technically in the category of Christian but containing so many extra ingredients that are in conflict with the basics that it ceases to be Christian in reality.

For Mormonism and other anti-Nicene cults who call themselves Christian, the apple pie looks like this:

Mormon Apple Pie

They use peaches but call it an apple pie even though it is nothing of the kind and never has been. Mormonism began, not with Nicene orthodoxy from which they’ve strayed, but with heresy in which they’ve continued. They’re a peach pie masquerading as apple.

So while the Nicene Creed addresses essential beliefs it is not an exhaustive list of those essentials. The crux of Christianity is the gospel. If I affirm the divinity of Christ and the reality of the Trinity in sync with Nicaea but deny that the work of Christ alone is sufficient for my salvation, I have denied the gospel and forfeited the right to call myself a Christian. That is why, though we don’t place Roman Catholicism in the category of a cult like Mormonism, we must still place it outside the faith once for all delivered to the saints (Jude 1:3).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credit: WinstonWong* via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Retailer Announces New Policy

6737321913_282a13db70_zMajor retailer Bull’s-Eye: BULL (NYSE) announced Thursday that it was updating the access policy in all its stores. “Bull’s-Eye is an inclusive company and we want to be sure no one who walks in our stores feels excluded in any way,” said Eileen Wayleft, head of customer relations. “As a result, all those offensive ‘Employees Only’ signs will be taken down. From now on, every person who walks in our store will have access to every area. No one should be told they can’t walk through a door simply because they don’t happen to work for Bull’s-Eye.”

The retail giant also announced an end to parking places exclusively for the handicapped and expectant mothers. Wayleft said, “Any distinction made among people for any reason is discrimination, something that is against our values here at Bull’s-Eye.”

When asked if they would be moving the cigarettes from behind the Plexiglas at register seven so smokers can buy a pack of Camels without feeling like second-class shoppers, Wayleft replied, “Are you crazy! Smokers should have their houses and children taken away from them and be exiled to…um, I mean no comment.”

Photo credit: ClaraDon via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC-ND

Condemned by The Writing on the Door

Condemned by the Writing on the DoorI find it fascinating that one of the signs that Western Culture is circling the bowl is the current obsession with said bowl and who can use it under what circumstances. Why is the latest front in the culture war sex-segregated facilities, whether they be locker rooms or public restrooms?

Believe it or not, the Bible gives us some insight:

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature,have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. – Romans 1:18-20, emphasis  mine

Paul tells us the law of God, in other words the truth, is written on the hearts of men – all men, even unbelievers. Deep down every human being knows he or she is in rebellion against God and, apart from a work of the Holy Spirit, they do all they can to suppress that truth. When that rebellion is not just against God’s standards as revealed in His Word, but against the created order as well, suppression becomes more difficult. It’s one thing to suppress the truth regarding behavior that is not in line with God’s Word, I can, after all, choose to never crack open a Bible or expose myself to Christian teaching and thus avoid being reminded of my sin. It’s quite another to suppress the truth regarding the reality of who I am. If I’m a man trying to convince myself that I’m a woman, yet every time I strip down in front of the bathroom mirror my lie is exposed (no pun intended), I have to up my suppression game. It’s not enough to tell myself the lie, I must enlist others to lie to and for me as well.

That’s where bathrooms and locker rooms come in.

Bathrooms are everywhere – in the shopping mall, at the doctor’s office, in the grocery store, at Target. Everywhere we go we’re confronted with two doors, one for women and one for men. Bathrooms are also one of the last places in our culture where the sexes can legitimately be segregated. If I’m a man pretending to be a woman, I’m reminded of my lie every time I see these two doors and realize I cannot push the one marked “Women” and walk inside. So, in order to suppress the truth welling up within me, I must demand access through that door because that tells me other people also believe my lie and allows me to further suppress the truth.

Bottom line, this is not a quest for equal rights; it’s a quest to avoid reality and silence guilty consciences. But it won’t work. In the end, no matter how many states pass laws allowing men into women’s bathrooms or how many aging celebrities cancel concerts, men will still be men, women will still be women, and God will still be God and He will not be mocked.

Photo credit: Ric e Ette via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-SA